Don’t think about it they said, don’t track your fertile window they said, just have fun with it they said. Okay, fair enough all sounds well and good until you’re about 6 months in and still no baby.
You then begin to Google things like “how to fall pregnant fast” “how long does it usually take to conceive” with all kinds of answers flooding in to get your brain overthinking. Wow, who knew, you only get 6 days in a month (per menstruation cycle) to fall pregnant, 5 days leading up to ovulation and then 24 hours after ovulation.
Okay, so timing is obviously everything I thought, I need to figure out exactly when I’m due to ovulate so we can get at it during that fertile window…
I’m not a rigid, super organised kinda gal I like to do things spur of the moment when I feel like it without planning too far ahead. But my longing for a baby took over and I soon became all of the above and began following my cycle apps to at, planning what days my partner and I would need to have sex.
6 months turned into almost a year and half of still trying to conceive with no luck, after pretty much exhausting our sex life to the point of it becoming a well thought out chore (especially when you have an argument during that all-important fertile window). We knew we couldn’t carry on much longer like this, the stress and the clockwork schedule of it all was really taking its toll on our relationship.
Not only was it difficult on our relationship, mentally and emotionally it was draining, especially with the awkwardness at friend’s children’s parties where everyone turns up with their kids and you’re pretty much the only one there without a child. You try and engage with the typical mummy conversations about what they fed their child for breakfast and how many hours sleep they had, but inside all you want to do is cry as you wonder why you can’t have a child just like everyone else. Enough was enough, it was time to get our fertility checked at the hospital.
Both being in our mid to late ’20s, healthy and physically active, on paper we shouldn’t really be experiencing fertility problems, yet statistics show that around 1 in 7 couples may have difficulty conceiving. This is approximately 3.5 million people in the UK!!!
At the hospital, the Doc ran the usual tests of checking my ovaries on a transvaginal ultrasound, all looked fine she said so we booked in for our next lot of testing which would be a semen analysis for my partner and an HSG test for me.
Hubby’s test came back OK. About to start my HSG test I got undressed butt naked under a hospital gown, lay on a freezing cold metal slab with my legs up in position on the stirrups waiting for the doc to arrive (she took about 15 minutes to finally turn up)
The doctor then placed a speculum in place and inserted a plastic catheter into my cervix. Then she injected an iodine-based dye through the catheter. Whilst taking x-ray images the dye moved from the cervix to the uterus, fallopian tubes, and into the pelvic cavity, allowing doctors to identify if there were any blockages on the dye’s route. She had to repeat this procedure about 5 times as I had some minor blockage but my god was this painful!!!! The pain was horrendous, like burning hot oil running through me followed by severe cramps. When she finished the doctor told me, I need to check the x-ray images I think your left tube may be closed perhaps that’s why there’s no baby. As she walked away to check the images tears rolled down my face, after all this physical pain I was now left in suspense whether I would be infertile.
She came back and said to me everything is fine now, I had to repeat the test a few times to flush it through but everything is clear and open. With a huge sigh of relief, I got dressed and went to see my husband.
Just 2 months after having the HSG test we fell pregnant with our first child! The best day of our lives so far for sure. Although I was not diagnosed with infertility I felt like I had a taster, a snippet, a fraction of how infertile couples must feel – a pain and feeling of uncertainty that just engulfs you. My heart really goes out to those who are on this journey but just know there are SO many things the doctors can do for you these days.
How was your journey trying to conceive? How did you cope with the pressure’s on your sex life and relationship during this time?