News
Let’s Talk about Baby Gender!
May
Unfortunately, it seems gender disappointment is a real thing! Mummies out there really do grieve for the daughter or son they never had when trying fora baby and having multiples of the same gender. I have so much respect for those dealing with this and the emotions they are facing and I will always have time for those who come to me with their sadness on this. However, my thoughts have recently evolved during my journey to motherhood.
From talking to other mummies I was surrounded by thoughts such as “boys love football, it’ll be so nice for the father and son to have that bond ” or “girls, you get to have so much fun dressing them up and doing their hair” and “everyone’s ideal picture is to have one of each though”.
Gender labelling was EVERYWHERE! I had to unlearn this and see for myself how society has some serious fundamental issues when it comes to how we think about gender,
I am currently pregnant with my first child, a little girl, and I know during the course of my future pregnancies if my next will be another girl, I will be met with “oh wow, another girl”, “will you keep trying for a boy?” It’s sad that these kind of words diminish the healthy and perfect children you already have. Just because they are all of the same gender does not mean they are disappointments!
Once my little girl is born I will not define her or my future children by their gender, I will love them as the beautiful soulful and adventurous children that they will be – regardless!
Our children’s gender does not determine what they are interested in, how close they will be to their mothers, siblings, grandparents, whether they will be rough, tough or dirty, or if they will be a “daddy’s girl” or a “mummy’s boy”
We really need to stop reinforcing gender stereotypes and liberate ourselves from the stigma that surrounds what we might be missing out on if we do not have a child of the opposite sex.
Stop focusing on whether your child is a boy or a girl and just embrace their character, what kind of person they are, their heart and how they love themselves and those around them. My only desire right now and in the future is to have healthy children regardless of their gender.
what a lovely post i couldnt have put it better myself. i have 3 girls, 18 months and 12 months apart and the amount of times people would say “oh you will get your boy” “will you keep trying for a boy?” “is your husband sad he hasnt got his son?”
it really upsets me that people would see my children as a disappointment – each and everyone of my children have their very own distinct personalities – just because they’re the same gender it does NOT mean they are the same!! Far from it actually!
Sheela is a little madam, and will always stick up for herself. Annie, the shyest little girl you will ever see but will give her everything to make another child happy. And then there’s Aria, my little “tom boy” loves to roll in the mud, dress up as fireman sam! I don’t see how gender would have effected any of their personalities!
Thank you for this post, it was so nice to read something i could really relate to
I have two kids close in age a boy and a girl but when i was pregnant with my second child (girl) we didn’t find out what we was having and all we got from everyone is awww i really hope its a girl for you or if its another boy will you have more to try and get a girl? Why are people like this i dont know i mean i can understand everyone would love one of each but its your child at the end of the day the gender doesn’t come into the love you feel for them. I actually feel sorry for the people who keep trying to get there ” girl or boy” as having a baby is a lot more than just the gender!
This is very real for me, I am pregnant with my 4th baby and 4th boy.. everyone convinced me I “would get my girl” this time.. when I found out at the scan he was another boy I had to hold back my tears and heartbreak.. as soon as I got out I broke down massively, I just kept thinking its not fair why cant I have the daughter I’ve always wanted.. plus everyone made it worse.. “I’m so sorry, will you try again?” And all I kept feeling was ashamed that I couldn’t even produce a girl. I have mental health problems anyway, I have Bipolar Disorder and EUPD.. so having them doesn’t help at all with feelings and failures.
I’m 30 weeks now and of course I’m excited for his arrival, as soon as I started to feel him move my mind changed slightly, how could I feel so bad for an innocent little baby.. when there are people out there who can’t even have 1.. but I cant shake the feeling of longing for a daughter.. having the relationship with her that I have with my mum.. I am blessed to have 4 healthy beautiful boys.. but I still have to convince myself everyday that I’m not disappointed.. trying to stop the feeling of desperation for a baby girl.
I’m currently pregnant with my 5th boy and I’m dreading the oh bet u wish it was a girl. I’m more than chuffed it’s another boy I love my boys I just wish every one would stop presuming it takes the joy out of telling people xxx
Its so sad hearing all these stories as its so true just because of the gender doesn’t make you love your child any less. Your child is your child and everyone has the instant love for their children. One of my close friends has two little girls 18 months apart and she always says when people ask if she would like another i would but im scared its going to be another girl and i cant deal with that! I have told her she should not have another baby if she is only trying for a boy it doesn’t work like that they are all miracles not what what the sex! I understand a lot of people would like one of each of course but its fate and what is meant to be will be if that is 4 girls or 4 boys or even two boys and two girls they are all miracles and we need to remember that.
i love this post, so true and unfortunately very sad how society views gender these days! 🙁 i have a 4month old girl and i hoenstly do not mind what gender my next is, if its another girl, wicked i have a ton of hand me downs for her! if a boy, cool another gender to experience, it really doesnt matter! xx