Unfortunately, it seems gender disappointment is a real thing! Mummies out there really do grieve for the daughter or son they never had when trying fora baby and having multiples of the same gender. I have so much respect for those dealing with this and the emotions they are facing and I will always have time for those who come to me with their sadness on this. However, my thoughts have recently evolved during my journey to motherhood.
From talking to other mummies I was surrounded by thoughts such as “boys love football, it’ll be so nice for the father and son to have that bond ” or “girls, you get to have so much fun dressing them up and doing their hair” and “everyone’s ideal picture is to have one of each though”.
Gender labelling was EVERYWHERE! I had to unlearn this and see for myself how society has some serious fundamental issues when it comes to how we think about gender,
I am currently pregnant with my first child, a little girl, and I know during the course of my future pregnancies if my next will be another girl, I will be met with “oh wow, another girl”, “will you keep trying for a boy?” It’s sad that these kind of words diminish the healthy and perfect children you already have. Just because they are all of the same gender does not mean they are disappointments!
Once my little girl is born I will not define her or my future children by their gender, I will love them as the beautiful soulful and adventurous children that they will be – regardless!
Our children’s gender does not determine what they are interested in, how close they will be to their mothers, siblings, grandparents, whether they will be rough, tough or dirty, or if they will be a “daddy’s girl” or a “mummy’s boy”
We really need to stop reinforcing gender stereotypes and liberate ourselves from the stigma that surrounds what we might be missing out on if we do not have a child of the opposite sex.
Stop focusing on whether your child is a boy or a girl and just embrace their character, what kind of person they are, their heart and how they love themselves and those around them. My only desire right now and in the future is to have healthy children regardless of their gender.