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Strained relationship after having a baby
Jan
6 months ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, she is perfect in every way (apart from the lack of sleep) and i would not change any of it for the world. However… the strain on my relationship with my husband has really taken its toll.
Before baby came along I thought I was prepared for the change, i knew our relationship would no longer be about just us two, free to do whatever we wanted, when we wanted. The thing that shocks me the most is how exhausted i feel and how my patience is pretty much non existent for a relationship, even the sound of him snoring makes me want to rip his head off!!!
Every little thing he does seems to grate on me and I feel like he owes it to me to help around the house a lot more now I am looking after our child 24.7 yet he never does as he is so consumed with work.
I know what people will say, they will tell me to make time for just us when baby goes down to sleep but it really is impossible. In that time i have to make dinner, clean the house, put a wash on, find time to work and perhaps eat and shower if i am lucky.
Sleep deprivation really does effect your life and nothing can quite prepare you for that transition, no matter how many books you read or TV shows you may watch.
I would love to hear how couples have got through this and any tips
I think this is completely normal, I remember it really well!
When you think about it, your entire relationship has flipped over, it’s not just you and your husband anymore, hes not your number priority. Just keep with it for a bit longer and ride it out. I’m pretty sure it will get better in time!
having a baby is the ultimate test on any relationship! it doesnt matter how solid you think you guys are, a baby will turn it upside down. stay strong, just ride it out because it isnt forever and you will get your time again together back….hold on!
I can so relate to this! So many people think by having a baby together it will keep you together but it is the totally opposite of that in real life! Having kids and getting through the first 2 years of having a child is one of the biggest changellings u will go through together. Its hard on all relationships but u will get through it. Just ask for help when you need it and make sure he does help with baby when you need it.
I can also relate to this massively. I too have ended up sleeping in another room with our baby as he couldn’t stand the noise from day 1 so it feels like doing everything 24/7 that you are a lone parent in all of this. I am now a great believer in the fact that dads can just dip in and out as and when they want to leaving us to do it all and it sucks. My answer at the moment is going to try and get a night nanny 1-2 nights a week so I can get some sleep. Other than that I’m planning to go to the gym 3 nights a week at 7pm as soon as baby is asleep and he walks in the door just to get out. I can just totally sympathise with your situation.
I can also relate to this massively. I too have ended up sleeping in another room with our baby as he couldn’t stand the noise from day 1 so it feels like doing everything 24/7 that you are a lone parent in all of this. I am now a great believer in the fact that dads can just dip in and out as and when they want to leaving us to do it all and it sucks. My answer at the moment is going to try and get a night nanny 1-2 nights a week so I can get some sleep. Other than that I’m planning to go to the gym 3 nights a week at 7pm as soon as baby is asleep and he walks in the door just to get out (no matter how tired I am). I can just totally sympathise with your situation.