Go with the Flow vs Routine Mama

Hi mamas, 

I have a 10 month old baby girl and my personality is pretty laid back. With my baby girl I have always had a very relaxed routine since she was born, with breastfeeding she was fed on demand so there was certainly no routine there either. The only thing I kept the same when she was a newborn was her bedtime in the evening, I would aim for about 8-9pm (not that bedtime made a difference as she would be up 2 hours later!) 

After around 5 and half months she began sleeping through the night with the odd waking at 3-4am for milk. I go off awake times for naps, so now she’s 10 months I will let her have 2 naps in the day after being awake 3-3.5 hours (whenever she gets cranky and starts rubbing her eyes, the sleepy cues!) 

Feeding, I give her x3 bottles with x3 meals, meals being about 2 hours after milk so she will want to eat (breakfast just an hour after milk). I also aim to give her milk before she sleeps so she’s nice and full and relaxed. The one thing I keep the same is her bedtime at night, she will go to bed between 7-7.30pm. 

I have a few friends who are total opposites to me and they will have set times for everything, set times for food, naps and bedtime. They often look at me like I’m not doing a good job with my daughter with comments such as, “she must be starving now” or “what time will she wake up from her nap then?” or “Oh i always fed my baby solids straight after their milk I wouldn’t wait”

I don’t like to wake her from a nap unless it’s getting close to her bedtime in the eveing, I just think if a baby is sleeping then they obviously must need it. 

I think having some sort of routine is good but not to the point where you have strict times for everything. I guess that works for some people but for me it stresses me out especially when it doesn’t go to plan so I let my baby lead the way.

Do you guys have a strict routine, a routine just for bed and approx nap and feed times, or no routine at all, everything on demand?

2 thoughts on “Go with the Flow vs Routine Mama

  1. Anonymous says:

    I am exactly the same! I dont go by time I just know that if they have there food like breakfast at 9am they will have next food up to 4 hours later or if my children have a lie in in the morning there wont be midday naps, and thats not a problem. I like my kids to lead the way if they are hungrier earlier they will ask so then I make it earlier. Also summer nights we take the kids out for a walk at night or sit in the garden after tea until its dark its all about memerioes too for children. Bed time is normally aimed for 8/8.30 but it once or twice a week I will.let them stay up. They are kids and they also need fun and things to remember. I believe in routine but not strict ones that cannot be broken, but I guess some if it works for them to have solid routine then thats most important.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I’d say im in the middle somewhat go with the flo and laidback, somewhat routine based. It’s easy to say “ill never be a strict routine mum, baby will follow my lifestyle etc” but when you have a baby that turns into a screaming ratty monster if they are overtired, or if they refuse and struggle to sleep anywhere other than their own bed, then it’s a different ball game!!

    My daughter is 15 months old and since she got into the toddler stage the days of napping in the carseat or the pram are gone. The only place she will settle and sleep is in her own cot. When she’s at home she sleeps perfectly, i put her down awake and just goes off to sleep without crying at all. If i go out during nap time then I have a screaming child on my hands, so I tend to only go out either in the morning before nap or afternoons after her nap.

    I don’t have strict times for when she eats and sleeps I take or leave it by an hour really and just go off her and what she wants at the time. I stick to around 10.30-11am for her 2-3 hour nap, then the rest just falls into place.

    You just have to do what works for you as a mum, dont let anyone label or shame you for being a “strict routine mum” or vise versa. You do YOU!

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